The Vault [cool stuff I've found lately relating to type, font and words in general]

Type 101 (ATT: Copywriters)

So I bumped into this nifty little guide to type. It's full of jargon, the right jargon. Not that I have anything against Times New Roman (I really don't) but if you want to impress a wayward art director / designer at a bar, or just get them to make eye contact instead of staring vividly into a space just above your head, it's time to change the font of your speech bubble. Make friends with Helvetica, just saying. And if you want to be naughty, try cast out the ever suggestive 'Vag Rounded' and see what you reel in big boy.

Courtesy of http://i.imgur.com/2OVMi.png 

Now, if you want to actively destroy an art director/ designer, this will be like pouring salt on a snail mwahahaha! 
(I have nothing against snails)


That's right kids, enter Comic Sans...


This is an old favourite of mine, check it out at McSweeney's: 
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-comic-sans-asshole

I’M COMIC SANS, ASSHOLE.

BY Mike Lacher

- - - -

Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

THEN, I stumbled upon this book:

And thought it looked fantastic. Partly because I love the word 'subversion' and partly because I just love words (particularly stylised ones). I haven't read it myself (yet) but you can read more about it here:

http://grainedit.com/2011/08/17/function-restraint-and-subversion-in-typography/

No I'm not done.

More stumbling (of my own not from a well known website) lead me to... dum dum DUM... Hipster Ipsum. It's hilarious. It's tongue-in-cheek (my weakness) and it makes fun of Hipsters. Although through my lol'ing, I identified with A LOT of the words used so what does that make me? Shit.  

Read it here:

http://hipsteripsum.me/?paras=4&type=hipster-centric

You can even try it with a 'shot of Latin'. Wonderful, my Latin's a bit rusty. Give it a whirl.

And lastly, the loveliest thing I've seen in a long time! 

Classic novels that have been, wait for it, re-covered in tattoo designs made just for them by amazing artists! The range is called Penguin Ink.

I like these two the most:

Hell yeah for Penguin!

But check them out for yourself here: http://www.penguinbooks75.com/penguinink.html (US)

Or here: http://inkbutter.com/penguin-ink-uk (UK)

And Um, if you're not 100% sure of the difference between 'typeface' and 'font' (what kind of an idiot are you?!) then read this: http://fontfeed.com/archives/font-or-typeface/

I uh, didn't need to read it. No I'm not turning red. Is that my phone?

My work here is done <3

I lost my keys to the Ivory Tower.

And while we're at it, anyone see where I parked my brain?



Guess I should start reading again > TV


I'm actually worried - I'm trying to think of when last I read a really inspiring, mind-blowing book. Grey [don't]matter. Vacuous space. 


I miss being able to get into French philosophy and lofty theories. I think I've gotten dumber since I graduated. And I'm aware of the painful elitist I'm sounding like, but it would only be snobbery if I were still spewing forth from inside the actual Tower (not making mud pies in the gutter next to it). Those days are over. 

Or maybe I was never really 'in there' to begin with? Like that clinger-on, dingleberry kid who gets chosen last for the team but considers the captain her bestie? Delusions of desperation.


I hope the Intelligentsia aren't laughing right now while peering down at me from the view at the top; down their long, crooked noses and largely protruding chins (to grip when feeling pensive, obviously). Their features are pointy. Their bulbous heads are oddly disproportionate to their pointy features. You should see their index fingers. They like to make points.


I feel like I'm progressively sliding backwards and butt-first down the slippery slide, my costume bunching up (bad lycra!), getting plastic roasties and forgetting all my glorious varsity knowledge. It just gets harder and harder to tap into. My conversations skills have taken a turn for the worse too. And like, I'm totes okay with it.


From now on: discussing of ideas > discussing of events and people


Geek-chic. It really shows off the curves of my brain nicely.


If I can't get into the Ivory Tower right now, I'll at least sweep its driveway. 
Until then, I'm one with the people: call me a populist. 


Or a simpleton. Whatevs.